Custodian of the two holey socks
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 20th, 2007
Discretion is the better part of valour. Valour is the better part of Jihad. Therefore, discretion is the better part of Jihad. What takes place at Caliphate conference accommodation stays at the Caliphate conference accommodation. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Humility is next to Charity. Chastity is somewhere between Godliness and Charity. Doublespeak is near [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 18th, 2007
Akhee, the sign on your door says Southern Fried Chicken. Which south? Who is it who decided where south should be? Now do you know where the south is, my brother? Don’t look away… face the truth! The south they are referring to is the southern states of America my friend. That’s right, its not [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 11th, 2007
A woman’s place is in the home. A man’s place is ten paces ahead of the woman. Hence, a man’s place is usually in the hallway, or front yard. Actions speak louder than words. However, loud words do have their place, especially if delivered with synchronised arm-waving. Asynchronous arm-waving is also allowed, but only with [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 10th, 2007
Modern management methodologies have tried to make meetings productive, to ensure the meetings are kept on time and to the agenda. In the mid-nineties, the concept of having a management meeting was such a novelty that it took a while of greeting, back slapping, hugging, handshaking, glaring at ones mortal enemies and exchanging family photos. [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 10th, 2007
The next item that a constant source of irritation was the attire of the sisters who originated from central Asia, and were more relaxed about hair covering. It wasn’t that theologically they were different. We had long ago denounced everyone who was not us, and constantly abused them. But, we tried to be fair and [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 5th, 2007
Speech 1: Ingredients: an egg water Equipment: a stove a cooking pot a clock. Put the water in the pot. Put the egg in the pot, and ensure the water completly covers the egg and then some. Heat the water until the water is boiling. Look at the clock. Keep the egg in the boiling [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 4th, 2007
A meeting is the gathering of two or more people. The two people need to be agree to meet otherwise it is known as a ‘bump’, as in “I bumped into that Tony Blair fellow”. If three or more people randomly meet it is obvious someone is stalking someone else and there is nothing random [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Sep 1st, 2007
The meetings of the Hizb took place at members houses. Our local chapter had been thrown out of mosques, not because of our inflammatory speeches but our habit of leaving chicken and chips cartons behind. This was due to a brother amongst us who took the ‘mobilising the masses’ principle quite literally, and ate constantly. [...]